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Working with People who Challenge Us


This Easter, I have been spending a week with my extended family in the NSW Snowy Mountains. While this may appear to be an idyllic situation, being in the mountains with my family, it brings to the surface the reality of the myriad of ideas, thoughts and agendas each individual has and how these sometimes cause friction. It is similar to life within a school, where we all have our own expertise, philosophy, belief structures and ways of working. Often unless this falls under a collective vision and as a collective we use our capacity and expertise, it causes tension, stress and upset. Like in families, generally, this is unintentional; however, the fact is unless we can work to overcome this challenges and work with those who cause us this frustration we can tend to hold onto it and become resentful.  

Working with people who challenge us can be difficult, but it's also an opportunity for growth and personal development. Whether it's a colleague who always seems to disagree with us or a family member with a different worldview, learning how to work with and respect those who challenge us can lead to better relationships and a better future.

Here are some tips for working with people who challenge us:

  1. Practice active listening: When we listen to others, we can gain a better understanding of their perspective and experiences. This can help us see things from their point of view and work towards a common goal.

  2. Be open-minded: Having an open mind means being receptive to new ideas and being willing to consider different viewpoints. This can help us avoid getting stuck in our own beliefs and biases.

  3. Find common ground: When working with someone who challenges us, it's important to focus on what we have in common rather than our differences. This can help us find common goals and work towards them together.

  4. Communicate clearly: Good communication is key to any successful relationship. When working with someone who challenges us, it's important to communicate clearly and respectfully. This can help us avoid misunderstandings and work towards a common goal.

  5. Build trust: Building trust takes time, but it's an important part of any relationship. When working with someone who challenges us, it's important to be honest and transparent. This can help build trust and lead to a better future together.

  6. Be patient: Working with someone who challenges us can be frustrating at times, but it's important to be patient. Change takes time, and building a better future together requires patience and persistence.

  7. Emotional regulation: Knowing our emotional state and acknowledging this helps us to understand when to move away from the situation or staying with it is going to be best for the relationship. Identifying what the triggers are can assist in creating a homogeneous communication.

In addition to these tips, it's important to remember that we in education are in the people business and relationships are not binary. As such working with people who challenge us can be an opportunity for personal growth and development so that we can become a better version of ourselves. By learning to work with and respect those who have different opinions and beliefs, we can become more empathetic and understanding individuals.

It's also important to remember that building a better future together requires cooperation and collaboration. No one person has all the answers, and it's only by working together that we can create a better world for ourselves and future generations.

To that end, by practicing active listening, being open-minded, finding common ground, communicating clearly, building trust, and being patient, we can build towards a better future together. Let's embrace our diversity and differences, working together to create a more just and equitable world that benefits the children we serve.

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