As I think about my educational leadership journey so far, I'm transported back to my days as a gymnast. It is perfect timing with the world championship being held in Antwerp Belgium in the past week with Australia’s Women's team coming 9th and qualifying for the Olympics and our Men's team showing a series of strong routines. For me when I was competing, the apparatus I most enjoyed training on was parallel bars and floor, while rings and pommel were much lower on my list of favourites. Like my path through education, gymnastics demanded strength, precision, and unwavering confidence. My career has been a collection of professional accomplishments with the spectre of imposter syndrome and is much like the gymnastic routine I used to perform with moments of self-doubt that lurked.
As I pen this post, it is written from the perspective of someone who has not yet made it and battles with the challenge of feeling out of their depth. It is also written acknowledging the challenges that I have walked through have formed my understanding, capacity, skillsets and have strengthened my commitment despite my vulnerabilities. I also recognise that this is a personal reflection developed through a period of non-teaching time that could be backed up by academic research; however, I have minimally referenced it as it has come more from my own personal experience as I have developed wisdom and understanding on escaping my battles with imposter syndrome.
From my early days in education as an outdoor education instructor and as a classroom teacher to my soon-to-be role as the Head of Junior School, I've collected a diverse set of professional achievements along the way. I've worn badges such as Google Champion, Google Certified Innovator, Google Certified Trainer, SeeSaw Certified Educator, and Director of ICTENSW. My academic pursuits and interest in STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics) and Inquiry have fed my passion for fostering growth in education and given me the opportunity to share this on much bigger platforms. This desire to learn more drove me to undertake a Masters of Educational Leadership focusing on the leadership practices that foster the uptake and development of high quality, future-focused teaching and learning across a school. My hope was this would transform the trophies and present them as a display of the impact my influence has.
However, much like the gymnast who stands between the parallel bars before a routine or in the corner of the floor, ready to perform a challenging routine or significant tumbling pass with dynamic back handsprings and twists, I've sometimes questioned my readiness and worthiness to step into larger and more influential roles. Imposter syndrome creeps in, whispering, “you are going to fall and be shown up, your successes are merely strokes of luck, and the accomplishments are a result of factors beyond your capability”. This all happens in a split second but it can dash so many of our hopes and dreams if it cannot be mastered.
Imposter phenomenon doesn't discriminate based on experience or skill level. It's a persistent sense of inadequacy and the dread of being unmasked as a fraud, even when there's ample evidence of accomplishments, impacting countless individuals globally (Sakulku & Alexander, 2011). This condition manifests through enduring inner turmoil, thoughts and emotions of self-questioning, marked by the belief that one's achievements are due to chance, a stroke of luck or the result of external circumstances (Dweck, 2016). It can pose a substantial hurdle or create a self-imposed limitation, leading to missed chances, diminished self-worth, decreased self-esteem, heightened stress, and self-sabotage causing the individual to underestimate the capabilities (Dweck, 2015). Regardless of how accomplished someone might appear on the outside, the imposter phenomenon can cast a shadow over their achievements.
As in gymnastics, I learned to manage fear and self-doubt to execute my routine and have attempted to use the same to subdue my imposter syndrome as a professional educator and take hold of the opportunities presented to me.
Challenging Negative Thoughts
Imposter syndrome is a formidable adversary that can cast doubt over one's achievements and capabilities. However, I've learned to confront these self-doubting thoughts head-on by endeavouring not to shy away from opportunity. When imposter syndrome rears its head, I engage in a powerful exercise that not only helps me regain confidence but also mirrors the coaching techniques I use with the high-level gymnasts I mentor.
Much like I encourage my gymnasts to visualise a flawless routine or have mastery of a specific skill before they step onto the mat, I apply the same principle to my own journey in education. I mentally revisit the countless students whose lives I've positively impacted over the years. I recall the moments when I witnessed the spark of understanding in their eyes, the aha moments during my lessons, and the heartfelt thanks from parents and colleagues. These vivid mental snapshots serve as a reminder of my true impact and the tangible difference I've made in the lives of others.
Similarly, just as I guide my gymnasts to visualise each intricate skill they are about to perform, I visualise my successes in education. I mentally replay the workshops I've conducted, each one hopefully filled with engaged participants eager to learn and implement new strategies. I reflect on the innovations I've spearheaded, envisioning the positive changes they've brought to my schools.
This visualisation process is not just a passive exercise; it's an active affirmation of my capabilities. It helps me recognise that my accomplishments are not the result of mere luck or chance but the product of choice, dedication, hard work, and expertise. As Aristotle’s quote on my wall at home states, “It is the choices we make, not the chances we take that determine our destiny”. Just as my gymnasts become more confident in executing their skills through visualisation, I position myself with renewed self-assurance, ready to tackle the challenges and opportunities that lie ahead in my educational leadership journey.
In essence, challenging negative thoughts is not about ignoring imposter syndrome but rather countering it with a reservoir of positive and affirming experiences that speak life into my being. It's a practice that empowers me to believe in what can be achieved through the skills and talents I have, much like how I empower the gymnasts I coach to believe in their abilities. Through visualisation and reflection, I loosen the grip imposter syndrome has to prevent me from embracing my role as an educator and leader with confidence and conviction.
Embracing Continuous Learning
The following I share not to promote myself but to illustrate the outcome of stepping into something that is an ever-evolving field. This is much like the constantly shifting set of rings under my grip when I used to compete. Gymnasts have to adapt their movements in real-time to the shifting rings beneath them, likewise, educators must remain adaptable and open to change in a situation where the ground below us continues to shift. Instead of fearing the unknown, I embrace it. Pursuing roles that have challenged me like ICT Integrator, STEM Learning Coach, Stage Leader, and Primary Coordinator, I've expanded my expertise, understanding of curriculum, wellbeing and school operations and been open to personal growth.
As an ICT Integrator, I delved into the integration of technology into the curriculum, understanding that digital literacy is crucial in today's world. This role allowed me to keep pace with the ever-advancing technology landscape and equipped me with the skills to empower both students and fellow educators.
Becoming a STEM Learning Coach was a natural progression in my journey. STEM education is at the forefront of innovation and critical thinking. By taking on this role, I not only deepened my understanding of STEM concepts but also had the privilege of fostering a love for these subjects among students, helping them become more confident problem solvers.
Stepping into broader leadership positions like Stage Leader and Primary Coordinator provided me with valuable insights into curriculum development, team collaboration, and student management. These roles demanded a heightened level of responsibility and decision-making, but I recognised them as opportunities to broaden my skill set and influence positive change in the educational environment.
In each of these roles, I've come to realise that embracing continuous learning is not just about acquiring new knowledge; it's about staying agile and adaptable in the face of evolving challenges and looking for wisdom. The educational ecosystem is changing, with new teaching methods, technologies, and student needs emerging constantly. To thrive in this climate, I've had to be willing to step outside my comfort zone, learn new skills, and adapt my teaching and leadership style to meet the demands of the modern classroom.
Seeking Support
Seeking support has been a crucial component of my journey in both gymnastics and educational leadership. Just as my gymnastics coach played a pivotal role in providing guidance, encouragement and blocking out the noise during my athletic endeavours, I've been fortunate to find a network of mentors, colleagues, and friends in the field of education who understand the challenges and triumphs that come with the territory.
In gymnastics, my coach was not only my instructor but also my confidant. They knew my strengths and weaknesses intimately and were there to offer constructive feedback, celebrate my successes, and provide reassurance during moments of self-doubt. This unwavering support helped me overcome fears, improve my skills, and build the resilience needed to excel in the sport.
Similarly, I've cultivated relationships with mentors who have guided me through the complexities of leadership roles and counselled my thinking processes so that I don’t procrastinate or become stagnate due to the choices in front of me. Their wisdom and experience have been invaluable, helping me navigate unfamiliar territories, make informed decisions and avoid self-sabotage. Colleagues who share a passion for teaching and learning have been an endless source of inspiration and collaboration. These connections have allowed me to exchange ideas, problem-solve, and celebrate the collective successes of our educational endeavours.
Further to this are my friends from within my global education community that I have created through social media. They, along with members of my school based teams have provided me with a strong support system. These friends understand the unique challenges and pressures that come with the territory, and we've created a safe space to discuss our experiences openly. This camaraderie has allowed me to share my encounters with imposter syndrome without fear of judgement and, in turn, has enabled me to receive valuable perspectives, encouragement, and advice.
Just as my gymnastics coach was my anchor in the gym, my network of mentors, colleagues, and friends have been my pillar of strength, helping me to navigate the hurdles and filter out the noise of distractions and limit the amount of voices I have speaking into my professional journey.
Setting Goals and Celebrating Achievements
Setting goals and celebrating achievements are vital aspects of both gymnastics and educational leadership, allowing me to track progress and maintain motivation.
In gymnastics, setting goals meant defining specific skills or routines I aimed to master. These goals were manageable steps, guiding my training sessions and providing a clear sense of purpose. By breaking down the process of learning a new skill into smaller, manageable steps, I made daunting challenges feel attainable. For example, conquering a complex transition on pommel required perfecting individual elements to ensure that I had balance, strength, swing and timing so that I didn’t pause within circles, flairs, scissors, wendes or handstand dismounts. This incremental approach made it possible to build confidence as I progressed.
Similarly, I apply the same principles to establish clear and achievable goals in education. Whether it's improving student engagement in a particular unit, implementing innovative teaching techniques, or reaching professional milestones, I break down these objectives into smaller, actionable steps. This systematic approach helps me stay focused and prevents the overwhelming feeling that can come with lofty aspirations.
Each time I achieve one of these educational goals, it's like sticking a dismount. It's a moment of triumph, a reminder of my capabilities, and a source of motivation. These accomplishments deserve celebration because they signify growth, not just for me but also for my students, colleagues and school.
Ultimately, the parallel between setting goals and celebrating achievements highlights the importance of focus, perseverance, and recognising progress. By breaking down large goals into manageable steps and acknowledging our successes along the way, we not only combat imposter syndrome but also empower ourselves to continue growing and achieving.
Conclusion
Educational leadership and teaching is a challenging apparatus to navigate, so too imposter syndrome. By recognising its presence and remembering, we are not alone in this struggle, our journey toward self-acceptance and success becomes closer. We must recognise, it is a temporary obstacle and by challenging our negative thoughts, embracing learning, seeking support, setting goals, and celebrating the achievements we have made, we can continue to push the boundaries of what we can achieve as educators and leaders. The bars may sway, but we can stand tall, ready for whatever comes next.
Stay the Course!
References
Dweck, C. S. (2015). Mindset: Changing the way you think to live a fuller life. New York: Random House.
Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The new psychology of success. New York: Random House.
Sakulku, J., & Alexander, J. E. (2011). The impostor experience in the workplace: Prevalence and predictors. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 101(6), 1212-1225.
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